Finland, 1 Gennaio 2009

Dear Artú,

 

My name is Simppa and I am your son. You remember that hot chick “Sohvi” from Finland , who visited you a couple of years ago?
My official name is Rajaköörin Franco Ballo, but that name is rarely used. My mum likes to call me “Simppa”, “Simppelsson”, “Simpax”, “Simpatti”, and so forth. Thus, I am a man with many names.

 

I'm also a man very tall and handsome. I have not been officially measured, but I must be at least 70cm tall, and my weight is around 50-52 kilos. My tail is famous for its elegant movements: not only from side to side, but also up and down, up and down, and in a circle!

 

There are many things in life which I like. For example, I like girls, good food, girls, tennis balls, running free in the forest, girls, doing agility with my mum, chewing big bones, and then I also like girls. People often ask about the meaning of life. For me the answer is simple. The meaning of life is to be loved and hugged by your people. Just so!

 

Mum and I have many hobbies together. As I mentioned, agility is my favorite, and I have been taking classes for over a year now. Our teacher said that we should aim for official competitions during the spring! Let's see. Mum and I also do obedience sometimes. According to mum, I'm almost ready for taking the Beginners' Class test in obedience. But I'm afraid that mum is too lazy with my training… We also sometimes go to the woods to look for lost people. It is amazing, how many people get lost in the woods these days! All of them their pockets full of sausages or juicy meat balls! Mum says I've learned very easily how to find those people.

 

There is one thing that I must confess to you, Dad! I have a problem. I eat things. Especially I like to eat gloves and socks. Once when mum was away and I was taken care of by a very nice lady, I ate her underpants during the night. Oohhh, that black lace… I just could not resist it! The problem is that eating these things often makes me sick. I have been operated twice, as my stomach got stuck, and numerous are the times when I've been taken to the hospital and made vomit the things I've eaten.

 

I've also drunk beer once! Mum placed a bottle of beer in the snow, next to our stairs. The beer cools so much quicker in snow than in the fridge. Then mum took a shower, and I took the beer. Opening the cap with my teeth was rather easy. But then I got caught! Mum found me lying in the garden with the half-empty beer bottle between my front paws. Dammit!

 

This is all for now Daddy, mum and I wish you and your mum and family Much Success and Happiness for 2009!

 

Yours,

Simppa

 

P.S. Just in case I forgot to mention: I like girls very, very much!